just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
