I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
