im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
