GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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