Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Randomize
