nut hugger
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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