Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
