I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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