Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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