He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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