Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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