Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
