used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
