i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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