physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
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