I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
