WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
