Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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