My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize