tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Drunk walkin through police station. America
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
