Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
