She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize