how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
