I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
