My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
