meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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