You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize