Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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