i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
