i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
