is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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