coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
