plz talk dirty to me
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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