why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
