That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
this will be a night to untag.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Randomize
