Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
