she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
