Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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