He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
