i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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