So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
