um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I am mentally ready for anal.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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