I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
im holly from the hills drunk
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
