K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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