You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I just got carded by a ten year old.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
