I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
