I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
