is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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