Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
