Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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