You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
