guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
