The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
