What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
My penis needs a shock collar
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
