I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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