What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
