bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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