Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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